He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize