They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
NoShamevember. You game?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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