hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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