We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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