woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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