You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
