Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
