You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
