ya dads aren't the best wingmen
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
