What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize