I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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