I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
