My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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