If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
