Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
