yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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