i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
