This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize