How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
