She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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