You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
