in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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