I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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