ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
