just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
