Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
