hell yes lets make some ravioli
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
