He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize