Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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