dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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