i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
