Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
