i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
