I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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