Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
