just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
