She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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