hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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