For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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