Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize