i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
