I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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