But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish I could teleport
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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