shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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