Where is the hickey?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
