so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
