I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
