He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
