Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
