Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
