Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
