she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
