Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
