Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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