dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He felt like a one man threesome
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
