I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
