Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
