I faked an abortion last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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