what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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