her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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