We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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