He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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