it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
