i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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