He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
