This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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