I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm at about main and main street
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
