Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
