I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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