Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
