Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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