I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
