"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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