I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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