The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize