He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
