Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
