summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
All I want is dick and wine.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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